


folklore has become too boring

by bearylovely



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, M/M, No beta we kayak like Tim, Pining Martin Blackwood, Tim Stoker Being Tim Stoker (The Magnus Archives), discord fic, groupchat fic, sleepover, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-11-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 16:41:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 7,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26540809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bearylovely/pseuds/bearylovely
Summary: Archival Assistant discord server (or basically a group chat)  fic. That’s it, that’s the summary. It’s s1 and no avatars yet, i might get up to prentiss but we’ll see.Tim- timboSasha- sashMartin- marty mcflyTitle from 'Tea Party for Teens' be Seasalt
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Sasha James/Tim Stoker
Comments: 100
Kudos: 230





	1. Chapter 1

WORK- 6:50 A.M.

marty mcfly: tim, do you know anyone named Regina?

sash: is that from #3479863?

marty mcfly: yup !

sash: i’d say it’s probably him, but best wait for his reply. 

WORK- 8:00 A.M. 

timbo: you heathens. getting up at seven in the morning? unbelievable. 

sash: says the one whose been late for work the past three days. 

timbo: i’ve elected to ignore that remark...for now. and no? i don’t know anyone named Regina

marty mcfly: who else is named tim and works at the magnus institute?

timbo: oh i don’t know, probably another guy named tim. 

sash: how long have you been awake?

timbo: when did this convo start?

sash: martin, just ask him at work, this is useless.

General- 3:14 P.M.

marty mcfly: sasha can you please change my name back now. 

timbo: sorry marty mcfly, the nickname stays. 

sash: as much as i’d hate to agree with tim, he’s right. you did lose the bet fair and square.

marty mcfly: really sasha? going as low as to team up with him?

timbo: i’m not appreciating your tone there mr. mcfly. 

marty mcfly: i am begging you to stop. 

sash: i am but a humble moderator, when your time is served, the nickname will be changed. 

marty mcfly: it’s really starting to annoy me. 

sash: sorry :(

timbo: to be fair, you did get yourself into this. 

General- 4:38 P.M.

timbo: pizza, drinks, a terrible horror movie, my place, 9. 

sash: can’t. i have plans. 

marty mcfly: it’s a no for me. 

timbo: sasha?? has plans???

sash: promised my roommate we’d get caught up on grey’s anatomy.

timbo: that was anticlimactic. 

sash: what else would i be doing without my favourite archival assistants? 

timbo: guess that just leaves me and jon then…

marty mcfly: i might be able to find time in my busy schedule.

timbo: w o w.

marty mcfly: have you even asked him yet?

timbo: no...but he’ll say yes. 

marty mcfly: mhm. sure. 

General- 10:42 P.M.

timbo: look at what you’re missing out on, sash.

timbo: *photo of martin sitting cross legged in front of a small television in a dark room, holding a floppy peice of pizza in one hand and giving a lackluster thumbs up with the other*

sash: so no jon then?

timbo: no :( 

marty mcfly: he had a thing. 

sash: a thing?

marty mcfly: he wouldn’t elaborate further. 

sash: well i hope you know that i’d much rather be at your sleepover right now. my roommate fell asleep halfway through the first episode, and she forgot to buy barbecue sauce for the chicken strips so im stuck with just ketchup. it’s an emotional moment. 

timbo: if she’s asleep you should just sneak over. 

sash: mmm. i would, but i need to finish this shitty medical show.

marty mcfly: oof. have fun. 

sash: me and my non-barbecue chicken will try.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't know what to put here, but there's some tea spilled.

General- 7:45 A.M

sash: it’s time. 

timbo: that’s ominous

sash: it has been done. 

timbo: what does that mean??

martin: thank you, sasha

timbo: oh! well that was anticlimactic

martin: a little bit, yeah :(

sash: what did you expect me to start quoting ancient yiddish or something?

timbo: if we’re being perfectly honest, i think ancient yiddish would’ve made it 10x better

sash: it’s a nickname, tim.

General- 9:00 A.M.

sash: tim are you late again?

timbo: what is time but a societal construct?

sash: at least pick us up coffee this time

timbo: oh so i can be even more late? i see your games sasha james.

sasha: no, so that jon doesn’t notice you’ve been late three times this week. it’s a nice gesture. 

timbo: when you said ‘us’ i assumed you meant just you and martin, to be fair. 

martin: i don’t even drink coffee??

timbo: damn. 

sasha: i’ll have a caramel macchiato with extra whipped cream, please.

timbo: and the hell am i supposed to get jon? nvm, he probably likes pitch black coffee or cold brew or smthn 

martin: get him an iced oat milk honey latte. 

timbo: i refuse to believe that’s a real thing

General- 9:23 A.M.

sash: how goes it?

timbo: they ran out of pumpkin spice :(

sash: maybe if you were there earlier they’d still have some. 

timbo: that’s cold. 

martin: do you need help bringing the drinks in?

timbo: i’ll manage. they gave me a fancy carrier. 

sash: i’ll take it you’re on the way then?

timbo: yes. with your regular amount of whip cream macchiato, a weird amalgamation of ice and oat milk, and a non-pumpkin spice latte.

sash: you better be joking about the whip

timbo: i guess you’ll have to wait and see…

WORK- 11:15 A.M.

sash: hey martin, i dunno if you brought your phone w you, but we’re all in here now

martin: thank you! am i allowed to ask why?

sash: an ‘emergency team meeting’ that was scheduled by elias, but he hasn’t even showed up yet

martin: should I bring him a mug as well?

sash: i doubt he’s going to show up, honestly. could you put some of the almond milk in mine, im pretty sure the regular milk is spoiled by now. 

martin: of course! and he does have a tendency of doing that

sash: oh don’t get me started or we’ll have to move to the ‘hating elias’ chat

martin: don’t make me laugh, i almost spilled tim’s cup

sash: alright, i’ll leave you be. but you’d better hurry, jon looks like he’s going to bolt out of the room at any moment. 

martin: will do. 

sash: oh wait, real quick, what tea is it we keep in the breakroom?

martin: we have a couple different brands of jasmine, black, and thai

sash: which one do you usually make?

martin: i usually make you black tea, i don’t recognize the brand, sorry 

sash: that’s alright, thank you anyway!

General- 12:00 P.M.

timbo: well that was an experience.

sash: i’m still a bit lost, what happened?

timbo: despite our best efforts, my coffee this morning did nothing to suede the inevitable stern talking to in jon’s office. that’s whatever, not a big deal, but then he tried to leave, looked like he was gunna go put his mug back in the breakroom, but our boy marty was walking down the hall and picked that moment to be right in front of the boss’s office. boom. collision. 

sash: firstly, incorrect use of the word suede, i have no clue how to correct you on that one. second, how does that lead to what happened in the breakroom?

timbo: ah, see our boss has a very large brain and started trying to get tea stains out of his clothes with the tap. hence, soggy jon.

martin: i don’t think i’ll ever hate seeing you send a message as much as i do at this moment. 

sash: oh well that clears a few things up. still a bit confused as to why you were just sat there watching though. 

timbo: would you want to get in the middle of that?

martin: i just heard sasha sigh all the way from my desk. you know i have a giant stain on my jumper now too, but glad to see you find it funny. 

timbo: ouch

sash: my mum’s friend works at a drycleaner, i can help you out with that if you want

martin: no, it’s fine, it’s old anyway. just not how i’d wanted today to go, that’s all.

sash: :( anything we can do to help?

martin: lunch would be nice?

sash: we'll be there! where at?

timbo: did you just agree for the both of us?

sash: yes. 

martin: how about the thai place around the way?

sash: sounds perfect, let me just finish up what i'm working on and i'll be ready. 

timbo: im ready whenever you guys are 

martin: thanks guys :)

sash: anytime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was actually coherant this time, which isn't much better than last time i updated because I did this out of procrastination. I could have been doing schoolwork, but here I am, updating this. hope you enjoy. i'm trying to come up with a good plot rn but it might just remain the way it is idk. we'll see. please comment suggestions if you want.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> new nicknames! if they get too confusing i'll put them in the summaries from now on, but I don't think they will, just let me know!

General- 7:45 P.M.

timbo: tell me why i just got a text asking me to follow up a statement. 

sash: the man is crazy.

timbo: right but i left over three hours ago, even knocked on his door to say goodbye

martin: at least he texts you :(

timbo: haha very funny, martin. please help me i don’t know what to say

sash: tell him you’re off the clock for the day. easy as that. it’s happened to me before, no big deal. 

martin: this has happened before??

sash: it’s really not that big a deal

timbo: but you’re different than me. he doesn’t get mad at you for showing basic decency, he’ll think i’m deliberately trying to piss him off

martin: well you can’t just leave him on read

timbo: hmm. actually i believe i can.

martin: let me rephrase that- it is in your best interest to not just leave him on read

sash: seriously just tell him you’re off the clock.

timbo: if i get chewed out because of you, everyone’s nicknames change for a week. 

sash: that’s not that big a threat.

martin: that’s because you haven’t had to live through it, sasha, believe me. 

timbo: here goes nothing. 

General- 8:06 P.M.

marty: oh no. 

sassy-sashy: huh. not the worst thing to happen in this server. 

marty: we’re stuck with this for a week.

sassy-sashy: i honestly don’t think i’ll really notice much of a difference.

timbo: yeah, well, it makes me feel better. I just got lectured on how i need to ‘take life opportunities more seriously’ whatever that means.

marty: aw he thinks you have a life

timbo: you’re on thin fuckin ice right now

sassy-sashy: i mean it’s kind of endearing? look i know it seems odd, or rude, or whatever, but i don’t think it’s coming from a place of malice. i think he genuinely wants to give you life advice. 

marty: yeah, that is pretty sweet. 

timbo: we have very different definitions of what ‘sweet’ means

sassy-sashy: just think on it, alright? maybe someday you’ll need his cheesy boss advice.

timbo: i highly doubt that but fine. 

WORK- 10:43 P.M.

marty: do you guys think we should invite jon to the server?

timbo: he doesn’t have discord. 

marty: do you know that or are you just saying that?

timbo: honestly i have no idea but sasha would have to create a separate role for him if he did. don’t need him poking around in the ‘hating elias’ chat.

marty: or the general chat, really. 

timbo: yeah i don’t really think it’d be that good of an idea

marty: it would be easier for him to ping us in the work chat though?

timbo: as opposed to texting us three hours after we’ve left for the day?

marty: yes. exactly.

timbo: hm. we’ll ask sasha in the morning.

marty: thank you tim :)

WORK- 7:23 A.M.

sassy-sashy: i think it’s an alright idea. 

marty: that’s a yes then?

sassy-sashy: yes, i’ll ask for his discord when i get in. 

timbo: when this goes sideways and he finds a way to ban all of us from the server, im blaming you two.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello and welcome back to me procrastinating. what did y'all think of today's ep? I haven't listened yet, i did this instead, so depending on how broken i feel i might update this again later. 
> 
> ALSO we have a plot now! it's very rough and i'm working through some things w it but i actually have ideas!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> jon has entered the chat.

General- 10:17 A.M.

Welcome Jonathan!

timbo: uh oh

sassy-sashy: hey Jon! you can go ahead and ask tim or I to change your nickname if you’d like, we’re both mods. sorry there’s only two chats right now, we thought you’d want to see the general and WORK chat, but if you want in on any others, lmk. 

Jonathan: Please change my nickname.

marty: so im assuming you haven’t used discord much then?

sassy-sashy: changed it for now, that okay?

jon: This is fine, thank you Sasha. And no. I use it occasionally. 

timbo: what for?

jon: communication. it is a communication app. 

timbo: yeah but with who. 

jon: Unimportant. You mentioned a work chat, Sasha?

sassy-sashy: yeah, you can find that in the bar on the side. i can come and show you if you’d like?

jon: I’ll manage, thank you. 

marty: also, jon, we usually type w/o capitals, just fyi. 

jon: odd, but alright, thank you for telling me.

timbo: it’s a gay thing.

sassy-sashy: tim, let’s not do this right now.

jon: is it really?

marty: i mean, yeah? it’s more of a general internet thing, but it’s fairly common. 

jon: well i don’t mind, though it is more or less unprofessional. 

timbo: sasha owes me a fiver. 

sassy-sashy: no, our deal was that he would call one of us unprofessional. that doesn’t include general things.

timbo: damn. 

marty: you made bets on this?

timbo: well duh. think that was fairly obvious. 

jon: how do i put this server on ‘do not disturb’?

timbo: wow. 

jon: it’s distracting. 

timbo: WOW

jon: i have work to get done, i assume all of you do as well. no, i know you do.

marty: you can go into server settings and mute it from there, i can help if you’d like?

jon: i appreciate all of the concern, but i can figure it out. 

timbo: you sure about that boss?

jon: i am very much certain. get back to work.

General- 12:34 P.M.

marty: would anyone want to grab lunch?

sassy-sashy: sorry, it’s wednesday, i can’t

marty: sorry! completely forgot you did lunch w your roommate!

sassy-sashy: dw bud, we’ll do lunch tomorrow?

marty: of course!

timbo: im busy as well, checking in on a statement from last week.

marty: doing work during lunch, tim are you feeling okay?

timbo: feeling fine, just kinda invested in this one

jon: i am busy as well.

timbo: with what?

jon: i don’t believe it concerns you.

sassy-sashy: if i come back to find you hunched over another statement…

jon: i have pressing work to get done.

sassy-sashy: so? take the thirty some-odd minutes to get lunch with a coworker.

marty: i do know a rather good thai place around the way.

jon: fine.

marty: we’ll go now?

jon: give me a minute. 

Non-Jon-Chat- 1:56 P.M.

timbo: so how’d you date go?

marty: not a date. 

timbo: but you’re both utterly in love now, right?

marty: not even close, tim. 

sassy-sashy: we really can’t have nice things in this house. knock it off, tim. 

timbo: sasha, you weren’t there at our sleepover, you’re not allowed to comment. 

sassy-sashy: wait a minute- martin please explain. 

timbo: ooOooOoh he’s typing

sassy-sashy: take your time, martin. 

marty: it’s a long story and i was pretty drunk and high on life so i don’t know why i told TIM of all people, but all i said was that jon is pretty. and he is! i have no shame in admitting it. 

timbo: you spent three hours blabbing about how much you wanted to stroke his hair.

sassy-sashy: martin! that’s so cute, you should ask him out!

marty: no <3

timbo: he thinks jon hates him.

marty: he does! we didn’t talk about anything non-work related during lunch today, and the rest of the time we sat in silence. 

sassy-sashy: he’s just a little odd, give him some time to open up

marty: i will, it’s just not fun right now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it begins. i'm updating this while in my AP gov class that i'm currently failing. please say you're proud of me. 
> 
> and yeah if you have ideas plz let me know in the comments! (and thank you all for being so kind on my last chapters, i appreciate it all!!)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> shenanigans occur.

General- 8:45 A.M.

sassy-sashy: is he late again?

jon: it would appear so. 

timbo: thought we’d already talked about how time is a social construct…

jon: then i suppose the money on your paycheck is as well.

timbo: that’s cold. 

marty: if you were here you would be able to see me and sasha stacking elias’ crystal glasses in the breakroom rn :(

jon: you’re whAT?

timbo: guys im starting to think jon is too good at texting

sassy-sashy: don’t worry, it’s all the old glasses in the back with the chips in them. 

marty: we used to use them for the library christmas parties, they’re shit quality

jon: i’ll let it slide this time. 

timbo: really? if i were in that room you would be convulsing on the ground in a rabid fit of anger right now

marty: then it’s a good thing you’re not.

jon: elias has been rather insufferable this past week so i don’t see the harm in this. 

timbo: ??? did someone replace jon???? who are you???

marty: side-note, should we make roles? 

sassy-sashy: we could.

jon: could be useful. though i think it might work best with more people.

timbo: agreed. we need more friends. 

marty: i don’t know, i think it’s nice with just all of us. feels familiar.

timbo: that’s a sweet sentiment, martin, but we do need more friends. 

jon: you all don’t have friends outside of work?

timbo: what and you do?

jon: yes, actually.

sassy-sashy: ooo jon has friends.

marty: i have plenty of friends outside of work. the lady with the cats in the flat across the way and sasha’s roommate, those count.

sassy-sashy: you know she has a name, right?

marty: i honestly forgot it. 

timbo: i don’t think it counts if you don’t know their names. 

marty: fair. 

WORK- 10:30 A.M.

marty: you’re certain you don’t know anyone named Regina?

timbo: yes, martin, i’m pretty sure i don’t know anyone named Regina

marty: she’s given like three statements revolving around a, quote, ‘mousy boy named tim that, quite fittingly, works down in the basement somewhere’

timbo: ‘mousy’?

sassy-sashy: martin is being nice with his choice of words, she left some worse things. 

marty: would you like to hear about, quote, ‘the disgrace that wanders these halls with mussed hair and a ratty unwashed polo’

timbo: i wash my polos regularly. for your information.

marty: she didn’t seem to think so. 

timbo: why did she leave so many statements anyway?

sassy-sashy: she’s some sort of carnival fortune-teller, traveling, I think. she was on break in town for a couple of weeks last year and came in to leave a new statement every other day. mostly about her travels and the like, but some of them are interesting. 

marty: my favourite it about the bird she taught to dig itself a grave. 

sassy-sashy: that one was odd. 

marty: she named the bird ‘dodo’ !

timbo: cute?

jon: i do find it suspicious that she commented on tim so much. out of everyone in the institute.

sassy-sashy: is it worth looking into?

jon: likely not. but fascinating nonetheless. 

marty: guess we’ll never know :(

jon: i’ll look into it if i can find the time. 

marty: :)

General- 12:46 P.M.

marty: me and sasha are headed out for lunch, anyone want to come with?

timbo: im in. 

jon: where are you going?

marty: just grabbing sandwiches at a shop two blocks over

jon: would you mind bringing me something back?

marty: not at all!

Non-Jon-Chat- 12:49 P.M.

timbo: martin it is painful to watch this

sassy-sashy: don’t say that, i think it’s nice. 

timbo: he’s standing outside of jon’s office like a little puppy

marty: i’m waiting for him to let me in

timbo: is his door locked?

marty: no...but there’s such thing as common courtesy

sassy-sashy: how many times have you knocked?

marty: a couple.

sassy-sashy: i’m starting to get antsy. he can just text you his order.

marty: just thought it’d be nice to say hello before we left

sassy-sashy: you brought him tea two hours ago. let’s gooo.

marty: fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me? updating two days in a row? very likely. online school is boring. also! i've been working on my podcast!!! yay me!!! 
> 
> thank you guys so much for being so kind and commenting amazing things, it means the world to me.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we learn more about Regina and some fun shenanigans again. also, fuk capitalism.

General- 6:37 A.M.

sassy-sashy: has anyone seen my stapler?

martin: no?

jon: no.

General- 8:00 A.M.

timbo: no, sasha, i haven’t seen your stapler. 

sassy-sashy: i find that hard to believe, since you’re the last person i saw using it. 

timbo: believe me, im just as upset about this loss. I can no longer staple my papers with a bejeweled beauty. 

sassy-sashy: fine. I’ll believe you. but if any of you see it around, let me know. 

jon: we will keep an eye out for your stapler. 

sassy-sashy: thank you !

WORK- 9:45 A.M.

timbo: just found another one of the Regina statements. 

martin: oh god. which one?

timbo: haven’t read it yet. 

sassy-sashy: brace yourself.

jon: on the topic, i did a bit of digging on this mysterious Regina. she is a carnival psychic, but she hasn’t been part of a troupe since the early 60’s, so any mention of a ‘break’ that sasha found would be false. 

sassy-sashy: could’ve sworn she said she was on a break though?

jon: i don’t doubt you. 

marty: so...she lied? why?

jon: excellent question.

General- 12:36 P.M.

timbo: so we’re doing another archival sleepover this weekend. i am telling instead of asking this time. 

sassy-sashy: you could’ve just asked, im not busy. 

timbo: i could’ve, but i didn’t. 

marty: that’s a bit rude, tim. 

timbo: you’re one to talk.

jon: thank you for the invitation, but no. 

timbo: ‘no’? you can’t just say no. 

jon: i just did. 

timbo: that’s not how this works. 

jon: i’m fairly certain that you’re in no position to make the rules around here. 

timbo: fair, but this isn’t about rules, this is about the opposite of rules. the archival sleepovers are an intrical part of our work environment. they help us build our family, create a community, get drunk.

jon: i will not be there. 

marty: friday works with me.

timbo: cool, show up at eight with a good attitude and pizza. 

sassy-sashy: making martin get the pizza? tim, you know that’s a bad idea. 

timbo: fine okay, i’ll get it. don’t want a repeat of last time. 

marty: i happen to enjoy pineapple. 

sassy-sashy: ew :(

marty: fine. i guess i simply won’t go. 

timbo: fine we’ll get half pineapple. you happy?

marty: very. 

jon: get back to work. 

WORK- 1:33 P.M.

timbo: Regina rlly hurt me w this one :(

sassy-sashy: i told you to be careful. 

timbo: she called me a ‘useless tool in the pocket of capitalism’ what the hell does that even mean???

sassy-sashy: yeah she rlly had a thing against capitalism. it shows up in a couple of them. 

marty: oh that’s the one with the mice! 

jon: she may have had a point there. 

sassy-sashy: about what? capitalism?

jon: yes, actually. 

sassy-sashy: wow. okay. 

timbo: lol i mean i guess. kinda funny coming from the man that signs our paychecks.

jon: abiding by the system doesn’t mean i agree with it.

marty: well this is odd. 

jon: how so?

sassy-sashy: i don’t think any of us were expecting you to say that. 

jon: hm. 

timbo: yet another reason you should come to the archival sleepover, so we can get to know you better. 

jon: no. i am busy this weekend, though i’ll think about it in the future. 

timbo: i consider this an absolute win!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this time i'm in botany. yes, i'm taking a botany class. honestly though, it's helped me figure out why all my house plants are dying. and we happen to end every online class early, so yay me!
> 
> and thank you again for all of the nice comments, i really appreciate all of them, they keep me motivated to keep updating. i usually have to drag myself to finish fics, but this one has been kinda fun and i'm enjoying putting out new chapters.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some discussion of their plans, more Regina, and some soft Martin.

General- 7:43 A.M.

timbo: is everyone hyped for tonight?

sassy-sashy: only if you let me change our names back.

timbo: wow. the one time i get up early. 

marty: i am excited, but please change our names back. 

jon: am i missing something?

marty: tim changed me and sasha’s nicknames for a week bc he was upset. 

jon: and it’s been a week?

marty: mhm. 

jon: i suppose i should’ve assumed you wouldn’t choose these nicknames.

sassy-sashy: yup. and now that it’s been a week, if tim doesn’t give us permission im taking away his admin and changing it myself. 

timbo: fine. change it back, be boring. 

martin: thank you.

sash: we’re the opposite of boring, tim. 

jon: this makes much more sense. 

timbo: boring. 

sash: no u. 

WORK- 8:22 A.M.

jon: i have found one of the Regina statements. 

timbo: do not. 

jon: you are significantly less ‘mousy’ in this one. 

sash: when is he not ‘mousy’ ?

jon: valid. 

martin: i don’t like how good you are at texting. 

sash: yeah, think you’ve got a point there martin.

jon: back to my point, this statement is interesting. while it doesn’t directly talk about tim, it does point out quite a few things about management.

sash: what? does it talk about elias?

jon: yes. in a rather backwards way. we’ll discuss later.

General- 12:46 P.M.

timbo: anyone interested in lunch?

sash: sorry, im out looking into a statement. 

martin: i brought lunch. :(

jon: i also brought a lunch. 

timbo: guess i’ll be lonely

martin: sorry tim 

timbo: no, it’s fine. we’re all hanging out tonight anyway.

sash: honestly this was a bust. no one’s lives in this house since the person died in here. save me a seat wherever you end up, tim. 

timbo: yes! less lonely!

martin: have fun !

Non-Jon-Chat- 1:55 P.M.

timbo: how was your lunch date?

martin: not a lunch date.

timbo: well? how was it?

martin: could ask you the same. 

sash: low blow. 

martin: he’s being annoying !

timbo: me and sasha had an amazing (friendly) lunch date, mind you. 

martin: well me and jon just sat next to each other and scrolled on our phones. i saw him do the little nose snort thing at one point, but that was about it. 

sash: cute!

martin: mhm. sure.

sash: you’re getting somewhere, at least. 

martin: am i?

sash: i really think you are. 

timbo: maybe sometime soon you'll be able to stroke that soft, luxurious, hair. 

martin: tim. don't say another word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahahaha this time it's Faith. my teacher is odd. anyway, a new chapter! yay!
> 
> i'm glad you guys like this so far! I'm excited to write the sleepover chapter, it'll be next chapter, i promise!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THE SLEEPOVER

General- 4:35 P.M.

timbo: are we walking together or?

martin: i have a couple of things to pick up from home before i come over. 

sash: sure, i’ll walk w you.

jon: please do this in another chat. 

martin: sorry !

Non-Jon-Chat- 4:40 P.M.

timbo: so we’re trying to make jon regret not coming, right?

sash: totally. 

martin: what...i was not informed of this

timbo: see, if we all have a banging time and he knows it, he’ll be so filled with regret that he’ll practically beg to come to the next archival sleepover. trust me. 

martin: alright, i guess it could work

sash: it’ll also be a fun excuse to take a bunch of pictures, god knows we don’t have enough of the three of us

martin: that’s true, the one from your birthday is the only one i can think of 

timbo: and it’ll be fun!

General- 5:00 P.M.

timbo: alrighty sasha, you ready?

sash: give me a second.

martin: i’ll meet you guys at tim’s in 30?

timbo: we might be more than 30 min. we’re stopping for supplies

martin: an hour?

timbo: yeah that’ll work. 

General- 6:05 P.M.

martin: can you buzz me in?

timbo: sure thing

General- 7:30 P.M.

timbo: jon we need your help. 

jon: with what?

timbo: picking a movie. we’re stuck between three rn. 

jon: that is not important. 

timbo: it’s vitally important. this decision impacts the rest of our night. 

jon: fine. what are the choices?

timbo: beetlejuice, the hangover, and idk the name of the third one, martin suggested it, it’s boring

martin: it is NOT boring. valentine’s day is a fantastic rom-com. 

jon: i haven’t seen any of them besides beetlejuice, so that’s my vote. 

martin: you haven’t seen valentine’s day?

jon: no. not a big fan of rom-coms. 

martin: c’mon, it’s a modern classic. 

timbo: i guess sasha wins then. 

jon: she has a better taste in movies. 

sash: why thank you, jon. 

martin: you seriously have never seen valentine’s day?

jon: i have not. 

timbo: don’t worry, marto, we’ll change that. 

jon: i’m not going to ask. 

sash: believe me, you don’t want to. 

PICS- 11:45 A.M.

sash: we took so many pics that i made a new chat for it. do as you will. 

timbo: ha. haha. turn your notifs off now if you want to be spared. 

jon: i deeply regret joining this server. 

martin: :(

timbo: *a selfie of all three of the assistants spread on tim’s couch, sasha lying opposite of tim with her legs folded up so that martin can sit in the middle, she flips off the camera. tim is in the forefront, smiling blindly as martin is focused on the television out of frame*

martin: god i hate that one. 

timbo: it’s my favourite. 

martin: yeah because you knew you were taking the photo.

timbo: *a photo of martin and sasha curled up together on the couch with a blanket over them, taken from behind a coffee table on the floor. the angle is a bit odd, but sasha’s face is turned away, obviously asleep, and martin’s eyes are half open and he looks drowsy*

martin: wow you’re really sending the worst ones. 

sash: dw i got you. 

sash: *a picture of martin with the blanket pulled over his head looking straight at the camera like a deer in the headlights as tim stands behind him on the couch pretending to play a guitar very dramatically*

timbo: when was that?

sash: when you started playing AC/DC as i tried to sleep

timbo: oh yeah! sorry about that

martin: i think i have a couple...one sec

martin: *five photos in unison of sasha trying to grab the camera with a slice of pizza in her other hand, tim is staring at the screen behind them. sasha slowly gets closer to the camera as the photos go on, and the last one is just a close-up of her eye. tim turns to look at the camera by the second to last photo*

timbo: wonderful, outstanding, fantastic. 

sash: oh god.

timbo: you have such beautiful eyes, sasha.

sash: stfu.

martin: *a selfie of the three of them, all lying on the floor with only the light of a dim television. a blanket is on the carpet behind them, they’re all pressed up against each other. martin is closest to the camera smiling, tim is next to him obviously laughing, and sasha is asleep on the end.*

sash: did you happen to get ANY bad ones of tim?

martin: no. i don’t think it’s even possible. 

timbo: what can i say, i’m too photogenic. 

jon: i am very glad i turned my notifications off. 

martin: ouch :(

jon: not because of you. 

timbo: your words hurt. 

jon: good.

sash: lol

martin: i’m going to take a nap now

sash: me too. didn’t get much sleep last night. 

timbo: which is definitely not my fault in any way. 

sash: haha that’s a good one. 

timbo: ouch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am still in class lol. 
> 
> thank you guys for being so patient w this chapter. i really appreciate all of your comments, i'll get around to replying to as many as i can as soon as possible. i've been extremely busy these past couple of days, i'll try to update every other day from now on, but we'll see.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: timsasha teasing + pineapple pizza

WORK- 8:37 A.M.

jon: who took home #3456002

sash: that would be tim. 

jon: and why?

timbo: wanted to photocopy it. 

jon: yes, but why. 

timbo: dunno, felt important.

jon: right. well bring it in as soon as possible.

Non-Jon-Chat- 8:40 A.M.

sash: ooooh someone’s in trouble…

timbo: i swear. i do anything and he thinks hates me for it.

sash: well maybe if you were more studious, he wouldn’t have any problem with you. 

timbo: studious? seriously sash. smh. 

martin: what’s happening?

sash: jon was being dumb and tim was being dumber. 

martin: thank you, very enlightening.

timbo: no, no, that’s a great explanation of it.

sash: very accurate.

timbo: going to ignore that you think im dumber than jon 

martin: i mean she’s right. 

timbo: you have no room to speak

martin: what? why?

timbo: because of course mr. ‘ooh i wonder how soft jon’s hair is’ would say that i’m dumber than him. 

sash: so why would i say that then? bc i have no reason to think jon is smarter than you. 

timbo: you’re mean. that’s why. 

sash: oh boo hoo :( not meeean

martin: please flirt in another chat. 

martin: oh god i don’t like that you’re both typing. im sorry. 

sash: i’ll report you to HR for saying that. 

martin: im going to hope that’s a joke…

sash: hmmm. is it though?

timbo: i dunno sasha. could go either way, really. 

martin: oh god.

General- 10:48 A.M.

timbo: so i’m starting to plan out the next archival sleep over, and i need to know, jon, what is your favourite pizza topping?

jon: no. 

timbo: not an answer. 

jon: no, I mean, you wouldn’t like the answer. 

timbo: try me. 

jon: pineapple.

timbo: oh fuck off. 

martin: ha that’s mine too !

timbo: a match made in hell

sash: i mean at least this way we won’t have to send martin home w half the pizza in a bag. 

timbo: fair. still disgusting.

sash: whatever. jon, are you planning on coming?

jon: yes, unless something comes up, i will be there. 

Non-Jon-Chat- 11:01 A.M.

timbo: WE DID IT!! our photos made him jealous enough to come. what’d i tell you?

martin: im pretty sure he was going to go anyway. 

sash: yeah i don’t think we really accomplished anything but annoying him. 

timbo: spoilsport.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyo. thank you guys are being so kind. i feel like i've said that like 100 times before, but i truly mean it. this has been a really fun fic so far, especially while writing it and im glad y'all are having just as much fun as me. 
> 
> there is some heavy timsasha this chapter, i was rlly feeling it for them today idk why. !!ALSO!! i did make a spotify playlist for them it's called 'timsasha but it's only a little sad' if any of y'all wanna follow that, here's the link. it's actually some funky songs:
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5zJN83oTpooy0sPmj8gx5W?si=9fAr4Rc9Tmme9R0U2v_R8g


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little extension to my earlier update because we could all use a little bit more timsasha in our lives.

PICS- 8:54 P.M.

martin: so we’re all working late then?

jon: it appears so. why are you using this chat?

martin: i- i have to show you. 

martin: *a video taken from around a corner looking into a room in the archives where faint music is playing. sasha’s laugh can be heard before she’s seen, tim comes into focus on the camera first. they’re standing hip to hip in the center of the room, tim is pointing down at sasha’s right foot and she moves it in time with his. as the music speeds up, they begin going faster and faster back and forth until tim messes up the foot pattern and steps on sasha’s foot. she leans down to take off her shoe, still laughing. tim holds her shoulders to keep her steady as she balances, turning to face him. the camera slowly backs away from the room, and a small ‘oh’ is heard from martin before it goes black*

jon: i don’t think they would appreciate you sending me that. 

martin: oh probably not, but they’re in that back room w/o service so i won’t die until one of them ventures back out here. 

jon: i suppose. worse comes to worse, i give you permission to hide behind my bookcase. 

martin: well don’t type that, now they’ll know !

jon: hm. well it looks like we’ll have to figure out another way to keep you safe. 

martin: i don’t think they’ll kill me, but i would like to avoid their embarrassment if i can. 

jon: that’s hardly embarrassing. 

martin: i know ! i think it’s adorable, but when has my opinion ever mattered. 

jon: it matters. and for what it’s worth, i agree. 

martin: did you- sorry, did you just agree that something was adorable?

jon: yes?

martin: i- okay. 

jon: i find many things adorable, martin. 

martin: and that would be?

jon: if you would be kind enough to make your way to my office, i have a powerpoint. 

martin: wow. that seems both wildly in character and yet completely out of character. 

jon: i will start without you. 

martin: sorry, sorry, yes, on my way !

General- 9:24 P.M.

timbo: alright martin, where are you?

martin: would you believe me if i said im home already?

timbo: your tea is still steaming on your desk, i know you’re here. 

sash: honestly martin, that was sweet, but next time just send it to me and tim separately.

timbo: or just don’t go snooping around the archives.

sash: tim. 

timbo: im just saying. 

martin: for your information, i was looking for a file, and when i heard the music i had to make sure no one had broken in. i wasn’t intentionally snooping.

timbo: but you didn’t have to stay and take a video. 

sash: that’s fair, actually. we love you, martin, but please be more mindful.

timbo: yeah. what if i had taken a video of jon giving you his ‘adorable’ powerpoint? how would you have felt?

jon: that is a completely false analogy. 

timbo: is it though?

jon: we get your point, you can stop flipping open the break room cupboards.

timbo: no. i’ll find him. 

sash: tim!

martin: oh god i can hear him. 

timbo: so you’re close then. 

martin: ...no 

timbo: beg. 

sash: this is unnecessarily tense. 

jon: i agree. 

martin: don’t you have work to do??? 

timbo: oh, plenty. 

sash: tim. seriously, we need to finish. I want to get home. 

timbo: fine. but if i happen to catch even a glimpse of marto, he’s dead. 

jon: we’ll have to make sure that doesn’t happen then. 

martin: thank you, jon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you are not immune to the timsasha.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which i kin sasha james.

General- 8:02 A.M.

sash: martin’s not dead, is he?

jon: not that i know of. he is avoiding tim though. 

sash: okay. well wherever he is, tell him i miss him. 

timbo: i’ve cooled off. i won’t kill him now. pinkie promise.

martin: i don’t trust you. 

timbo: c’mon. i’ll make you tea?

sash: don’t believe him, martin. 

martin: oh i don’t. 

jon: i do believe we have an evaluation from elias today, in case you all forgot. so you might want to begin preparing. 

timbo: oh shit. 

sash: i’m all good, thanks for the reminder :)

martin: uh oh

jon: if you’ve been working on the statements i’ve given you, there shouldn’t be much for you to prepare.

martin: thank god okay. 

timbo: hmm. yeah. isn’t there paperwork though?

sash: i did all of that!

martin: sasha !! you didn’t have to do that !

sash: oh it’s alright, i had the time anyway.

jon: i have a feeling nothing would get done in this archive if not for sasha. 

timbo: honestly though. 

martin: that’s fair. 

jon: that’s not to say no one else gets work done, but...i actually don’t know what i was going to say. 

timbo: wow. you have so much faith in us. 

jon: very funny, now get back to work. 

WORK- 11:03 A.M.

timbo: ouchie. 

martin: he has such a way with words…

sash: 150% productivity? how are we supposed to do 150% better??

jon: we will try. 

sash: try? t r y??

martin: it’ll be alright sasha. 

sash: but it won’t, we’re not even close to making the numbers he wants from us. we’ve hardly done half of what he wants. we’d need at least three more people down here working nonstop to get there. 

jon: we currently don’t have the funds for that. 

sash: oh god. 

timbo: where are you right now?

sash: im on lunch, leave me alone. 

martin: i just saw you walk into the bathroom…

sash: i just. i need a minute. please. 

jon: if worse comes to worse, nothing will happen to all of you. 

sash: we can’t make those numbers. 

martin: sasha, no one is going to blame you for not being able to get it all done. no one can. you’re going to be okay, i promise. 

sash: and if i’m not?

timbo: i don’t think martin’s ever broken a promise, and i’m fairly certain he’s not going to start now. 

sash: thank you, thank you. okay. 

General- 12:35 P.M.

jon: i think after today we all need a pick-me-up. how about lunch, on me?

timbo: free lunch? i’m in. 

martin: that would be very nice, thank you

sash: i’ve got my plate full with this statement, i think i’ll have to skip. 

timbo: nope. you’re taking a break. 

martin: if jon can take a break, you can too. 

jon: i will elect to ignore that remark. sasha, i am making this mandatory. 

sash: fine. but if i don’t finish this by tomorrow, that’s all of your fault, not mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> really enjoying this fic so far. idk if i should start going more in-depth with the ships ? i kinda wanna get into that, start to have them do more coupley things. sasha and tim are kinda there already but i haven't done much w jonmartin. hmmm. any and all suggestions are welcome. 
> 
> also ! halloween is coming up !! i am so excited !!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the sleepover! and closets!

General- 3:43 P.M.

timbo: so everyone’s ready then?

sash: ready as i’ll ever be. 

martin: i brought everything this time, so i’m good to go with you. 

jon: ready for what?

timbo: the archives sleepover, remember, the one you said you’d go to...

jon: i am not ready. 

timbo: damn okay. 

jon: i will have to meet you all there after work. 

martin: wait- so you’re actually coming ?

jon: yes. 

timbo: and you got my text w the address?

jon: yes. i just did. 

General- 4:50 P.M.

timbo: alrighty marty, shake a tail feather

martin: sorry, sorry, i’ll just be a minute. 

sash: we’re waiting up with rosy, she said she misses you. 

martin: tell her i miss her too

jon: how do you know rosy?

martin: oh, she usually uses the library break room so we happened to cross paths quite a bit when i was up there.

jon: hm. I was under the assumption you were hired on to be part of the archives staff originally. 

martin: oh! no, i’ve been here for awhile lol

timbo: this is why we need archive sleepovers. team. bonding. 

sash: are you ready yet?

martin: yes! on my way!

General- 5:45 P.M.

jon: i am outside

timbo: sorry give me a sec

timbo: alright, you should have been buzzed in

jon: yes, thank you

Non-Jon-Chat- 7:55 P.M.

martin: guys this isn’t funny. 

sash: really? because it’s pretty hilarious from this side of the door.

timbo: how did you even manage that?

martin: I Don’t KNow !! I- the door just- god tim why is your flat falling apart ??

timbo: i don’t know martin, why did you lock yourself in the closet?

martin: I DIDN’T !! i stg this was a complete accident. please stop laughing.

sash: and why are we doing this in the non-jon-chat?

martin: i-

timbo: don’t want to seem incompetent in front of your crush, aye?

sash: he’s going to figure it out when he’s out of the bathroom. 

martin: maybe if you stopped laughing like madmen and actually HELPED me, he won’t !!

sash: i don’t know what we can really do, honestly. without calling a locksmith, that is. 

martin: oh god. 

timbo: relax dude, there’s a screwdriver on the floor there, just push it through the hole in the knob and the door will pop open

martin: so this has happened before ??

timbo: oh yeah, all the time

martin: and you let me close the door ????? knowing this would happen ???????

timbo: lol yeah

sash: i just smacked him for you

martin: thank you.

timbo: i’m going to have a bruise.

martin: it’s not popping open

sash: hang on one sec

martin: i am stuck inside a closet, i’m not going anywhere. 

timbo: sorry about that, we had to explain your situation to jon. 

martin: i hate you and all that you stand for. 

General- 8:02 P.M.

jon: are you alright?

martin: yes, thank you for asking.

timbo: you could have just messaged him privately…

jon: that would be unprofessional. 

timbo: you are literally about to spend the night in my home. 

jon: fair. 

-Private Messages-

Jonathan: they haven’t traumatized you, have they?

martin.blossom: not yet, but we’re getting close

Jonathan: what happened? to the lock, i mean.

martin.blossom: no clue. tim said this happens all the time, but using the screwdriver isn’t really helping

Jonathan: well, i am terribly sorry this happened tonight

martin.blossom: yeah. me too.

Jonathan: they’re dealing with the pizza delivery right now

martin.blossom: good to know you guys will have food

Jonathan: we’ll find a way to get you out, don’t worry. 

General- 8:45 P.M.

timbo: okay, try the door now

martin: is it going to collapse on top of me ?

timbo: hopefully not

martin: alright…

Non-Jon-Chat- 9:00 P.M.

sash: see, martin, that wasn’t too bad. 

martin: it’s still embarrassing. 

sash: he just seems glad to have you out in one peice. 

martin: i guess

timbo: just wait until we start truth-or-dare

martin: oh god no.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm taking a mythology class this year and it's really fun, but these online lectures are killing me. so instead, i write fanfic bc my brain is mush.
> 
> also- i am a complete sucker for like facetime fics, so i might add some facetime stuff to this in the next chapter just bc.

**Author's Note:**

> hello yes i too am not immune to the groupchat brain rot. i said i would do it. i did. and then i did it. it's like 12 in the morning and i am so tired. i usually go to bed at ten. i ruined my sleep schedule to start this fic. oopsies.


End file.
